Confessions
by Facing My Failure
Summary: [RENT] Your favorite bohemians confess to things you know you always wanted to know! So far we have Mimi, Collins, Maureen, Roger, and Joanne. Stay tuned for Angel, Mark himself! OHMIGOSH! I FINALLY GOT JOANNE UP!
1. Mimi

_Confessions: Mimi_

"Okay. We're set. Don't forget your name, the date, and the time."

"Um… okay. Its October 27th about… 7:30, and I'm Mimi Marquez."

"You forgot Eastern Standard Time."

"God, sorry, Mark. Its 7:30 pm, Eastern Standard Time. What's your first question?"

"What's your whole name?"

"You had to ask. Miriam Maria Marquez. My mom was big on the letter M, and my dad was _extremely _religious. Miriam means 'exalted' or something, and… you know, the Virgin Mary. One of my old boyfriends in school used to call me Mimi and it just stuck when I became a stripper when I was… oh… probably 15. Because, honestly. Who wants to watch some chick named Miriam dance?"

"Was that your first job?"

"Yeah, if you don't count baby-sitting and stuff like that. My mom was way messed up. Depressed, you know? I think it started when my brother OD'd on heroin. He was like… the light of their life. He was Mr. big old jock who got straight A's and crap like that up until junior year. Then The Man gave him some smack for free, God knows why. He wouldn't give me a gram even when I offered to sleep with him. Who knows, maybe he's queer or something.

"Anyway, I guess he was really like, pressured to do well to make up for how screwed up my parents turned out. My mom got knocked up at 17 while my dad was in college, so they both dropped out and got hitched. They expected Rafe to live how they couldn't. I guess things got to him. After the one time The Man gave him his drugs, things got worse. He liked it. It took the edge off life. So, he kept up with it. One day I came home all crying and depressed because my boyfriend broke up with me or something stupid like that. I caught him in the bathroom sitting on the sink getting high. I still remember what he said to me.

"He said, 'Come over here, chica. You look sad. Look what I've got. Its like, my own piece of sunshine in a bag. You want some?' he shot me up. I remember the first time. The feeling is… its beyond words. Mom and Dad came home not long after and saw me high. They were _pissed_! Them and Rafe just kept shouting and yelling. I remember he walked out and just… never came home. Somebody found him dead. Mom blamed herself. She kind of… let herself go. Stayed in bed for weeks at a time. It sucked. I couldn't go to school because I had to take care of the little kids because Dad didn't care anymore. He just stayed at work from like, five in the morning until after midnight sometimes.

"Things were just… shit. I couldn't take it. I spent a lot of time in Rafe's room. I found some of his old smack under his bed and remembered the great feeling of being high. I stole it and ran off. I left my mom a note. It… it said… sorry. I feel so dumb crying like this. Uh… the note said, 'Take care of your own damn kids, bitch!' Yeah.

"So I took Rafe's drugs and ditched. I probably had ten bucks. I blew it on more crack. You remember that park Maureen and Joanne told you and Roger about at Christmas, right when I was going to die?"

"Yeah, I do".

"I spent a lot of time there. Its where I lived. It was my home. After a few weeks like that, I decided I needed to get a real job. Not even a fast-food joint would take me. And being a hooker didn't suit me. I was too young, too inexperienced, too skinny… too everything. And it wasn't just me. The pay was too irregular. That's definitely where I got HIV. Bastards. Anyway, The Man told me about this club looking for a dancer. When I was in high school, as a freshman, I was on the dance team, before everything got screwed up. I didn't know they were looking for a stripper, but it was a job. I learned. And that's how I became what I am. Oh, sorry about all that other stuff, its just important to my story."

"No, its good. I want it. Now you don't have to answer this one. Sometimes it reveals one's character. Uh… who was your first? Stop laughing! It's a serious question!"

"Okay… sorry. Its just so dumb! I was at my first party. Like, a _real_ party. I was 14, smashed, he was there, and I wanted to try it. His name was… uh… God, I don't even remember!"

"You know what? Somehow that doesn't surprise me!"

"Oh, shut up. And quit laughing! Don't tell me you never did anything stupid the first time you got drunk!"

"Okay, okay, you have me there. Who is your hero?"

"Um… Rita Moreno?"

"Really!"

"Yep."

"Huh. Okay, what or who do you love most in the world? It could be like, your old handcuffs for all I know."

"Roger."

"I figured as much. Why?"

"Him and his music… they just… they give me life! Literally! He's the reason I gave up drugs, and I know that _Your Eyes_ saved me. And he surprises me every day. It was like, our 8 month anniversary of when we met, or something obscure like that. I came home for depressed for something or other, and he had scattered my whole apartment with cliché romantic things like, flowers and candles and stuff. God knows where, when, or how he came up with it. I never knew he was like that. He always keeps me on my toes."

"What are you most afraid of?"

"God. I just know He's disappointed in me. With all the drugs and getting AIDS and working at the Cat Scratch and all that. I was raised deeply Catholic, and everything I've done goes against my religion. I know He, I mean God, and Jesus have got to be in heaven, shaking their heads at me, waiting to send me to hell."

"Okay. Thanks a lot, Meems".

"Anytime, Marky."

a/n: I promised! There will be one for everybody, even Angel, even though she's dead. But it will work out. If you like it, or think its ridiculous, let me know!


	2. Collins

_Confessions: Collins_

"You watched Mimi?"

"Yep. I know the drill. October 27th, 9 pm, Eastern Standard Time. Tom Collins here."

"Okay, so I'm just going to ask some random things. Not all the questions will be the same as Mimi's. And any time you want to stop, just let me know."

"Sounds good."

"Okay. In three days is the anniversary of Angel's death."

"I knew that was coming. You said this was sort of a present for us and her? Hey, Angel baby. You let us down, honey. You were supposed to be immortal! Then again, you kind of are. I see flashes of you in everyone. Mark's dedication, Mimi's beauty, Maureen's style, Joanne's love, Roger's passion. You left something behind not soon forgotten.

"You remember when we asked ourselves, 'Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?' Just to let you know… we care. I love you, baby.

"Okay, enough sad! So… yeah. Halloween. Angel's favorite holiday. I think… because she could walk down the street as a woman for a whole day without being stared at by tourists. Its my favorite--- scratch that. Second. _Second _favorite holiday, because I can act five again. Like we did at the Life. Its so freeing. But we're getting off-topic."

"You always were like that! Keeping us on track."

"Oh yeah. Blame my dad! You know how I am? Multiply that times ten and then you have my father! He always sounded like, deep voice, James Earl Jones. Always 'coming up' with stuff like, 'Early to bed, early to rise', and outrageous things like that. He really wanted me to do well in the world, but we didn't have a lot of money, so we didn't have that many opportunities. My only way in was to get a scholarship. Straight A's for me, Jack! I'd come home from school with a good test, show it to Dad, and he'd say something like, 'What's this 99 percent? My son only excels!' Sort of half-joking, half-serious. So, it just got drummed into my head."

"What was you're mom like?"

"Oh, you know. Picturesque, apron-wearing, constantly baking, the works. So sweet. I loved her. And if anybody messed with her son… look out! Mother grizzly! She was the one I confided in when I discovered I was gay. I didn't know how she would react, but the way she did… it was just so her. She wanted to accept me, and keep her perfect family unit at the same time. I told her, and she just sat back, taking it all in.

" 'You're sure this is what you want?' she asked.

" 'Yeah,' I told her. She just nodded and kissed my check. The only woman I ever loved.

"Dad, on the other hand… he didn't know how to handle it, what to think. What happened to his son he perfectly molded into a model citizen, destined to win and become the first black president? He tried to 'fix' me. I came home from school once to see two girls waiting in my room…. Waiting for something they couldn't have."

"Were they your first?"

"Oh, God no! Dad thought it would flip my…erm… desires, but all it did was make me _extremely_ uncomfortable. My first was called Dan. Bi, you see. He gave me AIDS. When I took the test and it turned out positive, I stayed away from men for a long time. Until Angel, actually. I didn't want to spread the disease, you know?"

"Who is your hero?"

"Galileo. He _died_ for something he believed in. He didn't care about his own life so much as letting the world know what he needed to know. Passion and commitment like that.

"Its like, why doesn't the world feel about things like that anymore? We've become so… indifferent to everything around us. We simply don't care! If people would just feel! Feel anything! All of you, Roger, Mimi, Mo, Jo, Mark… hell, Benny! Open up your emotions! Feel!"


	3. Maureen

_Confessions: Maureen_

"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Deville!"

"Its Cohen!"

"Well, duh! I only slept with you for four years! God, are you completely pop culturally challenged?"

"No!"

"Oh, yeah? Then what's the whole 'Mr. Deville' thing from?"

"Um… hang on, I know this. Its from…"

"Ha! That's what I thought."

"Oh, you just wipe that satisfied smirk off your face and say what I told you to say!"

"Ooh! So commanding! Its sort of a turn-on…."

"Maureen!"

"God, why couldn't you have been this way when we were together?"

"I'm going to stab you with this un-sharpened pencil if you don't shut up and…"

"Don't get your tighty-whiteys in a bunch! Okay! Maureen Johnson, your hot, sexy, perverted little sex kitten here! Me-OW! Its 11 a.m., an ungodly hour of the morning…"

"You forgot Eastern Standard Time!"

"Aw, screw it! I'll even volunteer!"

"I hate you."

"Whatever. Let's do this thingy."

"When did you go lesbian?"

"You're just jealous. Its _your_ fault, you know. Well, it was when April had just died, I moved in, and Roger was doing the big… whole… withdrawal thing. You were playing mommy again. It was like you shut out the rest of the world and it was only him that mattered, and yadda yadda yadda. You wouldn't even talk to _me_, for God's sake. I hated it. I would _try_ to talk to you, and I w anted to figure out what was wrong with you. If you want to know the truth, sometimes I think you're in love with Roger…. Ha! I knew it! Look at him blush! I was so right!"

"_Maureen_! This is not about me and my sexual tendencies."

"I love how he doesn't even bother denying it."

"This pencil is in my hand, ready to plunge into your neck if you don't---"

"Okay, okay! So, anyways, it was just smothering, the loneliness of it all. I had no one to talk to, nothing to do. Central Park became my medium, ant the Imagine memorial. John Lennon, you know? I was working on another protest, trying to find inspiration, and all of a sudden, _wham!_ Some pretty, skinny blonde passed by and I wondered, 'What would it be like to do her?'

"It kind of scared me at first. Why was I thinking these things? But, like all other aspects of my life, I embraced it. It actually helped that I was still attracted to guys, and not only girls."

"I still refuse to believe that its my fault. You're just sexually adventurous."

"Hello? The term is bisexual. Embrace it. Feel it. _Wink!_ Isn't this supposed to be an interview? Let's not keep up with terms."

"Whatever. Let's continue, shall we? How did you meet Joanne?"

"We're still in the withdrawal phase, right? I have at this point accepted the bisexuality. Its um… Thanksgiving? I don't know, maybe a little before. I was working on 'Over the Moon' at the time. I was in a creative slump, and I heard a clanging. It was my beloved! She had something, I still don't know what it is, and it was banging against her briefcase. And there it was! My inspiration! I felt that she should be thanked for contributing to what would become the defining achievement of my life. And the rest, as you say, is history!"

"Who was your first?"

"Roger."

"No way!"

"Yes indeed."

"Roger, did you really sleep with Maureen?"

"Hell no!"

"Ha! I got you! You are so gullible! My first man was in high school, my boyfriend Will. My first woman was some really bookish chick I met in a bookstore. Jessie was her name. She was hot."

"Ahem. Getting off that subject…."

"Maureen, you whore, I can't believe you would tell people I slept with you!"

"Pipe down, Roger. You always wanted to do me."

"I did not! You are so--- so---"

"So what?"

"_Exasperating!_"

"I can't believe you know what that means!"

"Come on, guys, you're ruining my film!"

"Screw your film, this means war!"

"Bring it on, pseudo-Hendrix!"

"Oh, my God! _Again_? What is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem! I'm totally carefree! What's yours?"

"_I_ know what your problem is! You're just a cold-hearted, bitchy…."

"Sorry everyone who's watching this. Mark here. I'm going to _attempt_ to talk over their flying insults. This concludes Maureen. Up next we'll hear from Roger. Thanks, and sorry again."

* * *

a/n: Sorry for the delay! I hope that you enjoyed this, and Roger's coming up soon. I swear! I don't know if I put the disclaimer before, so I'm doing it now. I don't own rent! Or emotion, for that matter. But that's another story... 


	4. Roger

_Confessions: Roger_

"Ok, you're on…. Come on! Name, time, date…. Just your name, please? Not even your name? _Tell us your name, dammit!_"

"Mhmmm…."

"What was that?"

"Auberhmhm…."

"Stop mumbling!"

"Roger frickin' Davis!"

"Come on, your full name. 'Frickin'' is not your middle name."

"Aw, man, you know I hate it!"

"If you don't I will."

"Roger Melman Davis."

"_What? Melman?_ Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me!"

"You know what, Maureen, if you don't _shut your goddamn yap---_"

"Come on, guys! Don't start up again! We just got over this!"

"I refuse to keep up with this--- this--- this whatever, if Maureen doesn't leave. _Now_."

"Hey, if you can watch mine, then I want to watch yours!"

"He's right. Get out".

"Aw, Marky! But---"

"Now!"

"You suck."

"Okay, but leave. Anyway. Care to elaborate on your middle name?"

"Care to shut up?"

"God, settle down! Its just Mo. I didn't do anything."

"Whatever. Just lets get this thing done."

"What are your greatest regrets?"

"Forget regret, Mark."

"Roger!"

"I have no regrets."

"Just because Maureen pissed you off doesn't mean you can wreck my film! Answer truthfully."

"I guess… I don't know, the drugs, I guess. I was just starting the Well Hungarians. Things were great. That was definitely the high point of my life. We were getting gigs left and right, girls were falling all over themselves to get to us… it was the best. I had never gotten high before. Wait, that's not true. I tried pot once when one of the guys came home with it. You were there, remember? You got _mad_.

"One of the gigs I remember best was the one I met April in. We were great. The crowd was going nuts over us. I was really going, and I looked out at the crowd and saw this cute red-head. No, cute isn't the right word. She had seen too much. She had a sort of… haunted edge to her. We just kept staring at each other the whole show. After, we found each other and went for coffee or something like that. She was really smart, passionate, and vibrant. I liked that about her. The things she felt something about, she felt it to the extreme. She kind of reminded me of Collins in that way. We were talking, and probably half way through she started looking bad. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was 'illin'. I had heard the guys talking about it, and I knew it had something to do with drugs. I didn't know what to think of her. But she was cool, and I guess I thought I could change her.

"That night I took her home with me and well… yeah. That was some of the greatest sex I'd ever had. I think the guys figured she'd only stick around that night, another groupie, you know? I thought so too, after I woke up the next morning and she wasn't there. April had other ideas. But that was so like her. She always had another agenda. One afternoon, she showed up to one of our practices and started acting like… well like a girlfriend! The guys didn't like it too much. She was bossy, and controlling, and almost always high. Ever since that day we just… we were together."

"You regret going out with April?"

"No! Of course not! I never said that! You interrupted me, and wouldn't let me finish!"

"Well, sorry! You weren't saying anything!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. The actual regret is… I don't think she ever knew that I loved her. She was the first girl I ever really loved. I mean, I had had a lot of girlfriends and all that, but they were nothing. They were all shallow, stupid, and pretty. I never told her how I really felt about her."

"Do you want to talk about how she died?"

"_No_."

"Geez, you don't have to yell at me."

"Well, I don't."

"Okay, then tell me about how you got started on drugs. Don't make that face at me, just do it!"

"Okay, so one day, I catch April doing a few lines. Coke, right? I didn't know how to handle it. She told me to try some, and I did. At the time I was way too far in. I didn't want her to go. She threatened me a few times. You, Maureen, Benny, even Collins hated her, I remember. You didn't think I knew, but I did. I overheard you talking about it once. And then there was the rest of the band, they hated her too. I recognize that she wasn't a good person, but that doesn't change how I felt about her. She kept pushing me, and I got hooked. It got so bad that I couldn't leave the house without getting strung out."

"Who was your first?"

"Nanette Himmelfarb."

"_What_? Please tell me this is _after_ we broke up."

"No, actually."

"And you're totally okay with this? Roger, she was my _girlfriend_! Have you no shame? She wouldn't even have sex with me!"

"Well, I guess that's how things turned out. Just so you know, you didn't miss out on anything. She was pretty bad."

"I'm disgusted. And I have other people to interview. We'll talk about this later, and we _will_ talk---"

"I'm ba-ack!"

"_Out, Maureen_!"

* * *

a/n: Hey, hey, hey! Let me know how you guys feel with the strictly dialogue thing. Is it confusing? Do you like it? Let me know your feedback, positive or otherwise… 


	5. Joanne

_Confessions: Joanne_

OHMYGOSH! I ACTUALLY PUT UP A CHAPTER! Joanne lets loose in this one.

"Just go."

"God, did Roger and Maureen wear you out that bad?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Joanne Marie Jefferson, and its… 1… 23 pm."

"Were you ever attracted to guys? Ever?"

"No, not really. I mean, I had no exposition to them, except for my father. I always had the best education money could buy. I went to Harvard, for God's sake! Anyway, my parents hired a nanny or something when I was very young. She was a feminist, which exposed me to switching gender roles and things like that. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure she was a lesbian too. So, when I ran around the house screeching, 'I am woman, hear me roar', at five years old, they got rid of her so fast, my head spun. Mum tried staying home for about two weeks before I drove her insane with questions like, 'Why doesn't Daddy have to wear a dress to church?' The impression had been made. Remember how I said I had the best education money could buy? After the fiasco with Mum, they shipped me off to an all-girls' private elementary school. After graduating from there, I was off to Miss Porter's, where I met the infamous French Ambassador's Daughter, who all the other girls affectionately referred to as 'le dyke.' She was my roommate. And remember that Christmas at the eleventh street lot, and you asked me where I'd learned to tango?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well… that's not all I learned to do."

"Oh, God. New topic. Did you always want to be a lawyer?"

"Yeah. I was always the way I am now. Largely argumentative, strong minded, willful. When I was a little girl, and my parents would buy me baby dolls and things like that, instead of playing 'mother', like I was supposed to, I lined them up and referred to them as 'gentlemen of the jury'. Stop laughing, its not that funny! It was all I ever knew! Mum was a lawyer, Dad was a lawyer, it only made sense that's how I would end up."

"Do you like what you do? Do you ever feel different from the rest of us?"

"Well, of course I feel different! I'm the only one wit a steady job, for one. But also, you all seem so free, so… like you don't have to care about things I care about. I know I bring the anxiety on myself, but I sort of have to. I am addicted to stress. If I'm not under pressure, then I feel wasted, like I'm useless. You have your camera and stuff to let yourself go, I have my courtroom. Even if I lose, I feel like I'm doing something."

"What's your greatest wish or ambition?"

"Man, I don't know. To make an impact, I guess. I don't want to have done all this for nothing. And especially for the gay-lesbian community. People just can't see past two people of the same sex kissing. They don't understand that behind that, there's a real, genuine feeling of love and caring between the two. They just think we're trying to be different in the most obscene way we know how. Its just – infuriating how single-minded some people can be! Take my parents. When I came out to them, they wouldn't talk to me for months. I was the one thing wrong in their perfect, politically correct, fairytale lives."

"Who is your hero?"

"Sandra Day O'Connor"

"Who?"

"Never mind, ignoramus."

"Well, thank you, Joanne."

a/n: OHMYGOSH! FINALLY! I had a really hard time writing Joanne. Harder than anyone, except Collins. I don't know, I couldn't get into it. So I abandoned it, and then I got a review out of NOWHERE and I felt bad. So… here you go. I know its crappy, I just want to get to Mark, Angel, and the end chapter. Nope, no Benny chappie. I'd have a WAY hard time with that one. Sorry for the length, but like I said, I couldn't get into her head.


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